COSRT’s Jo Coker gives some tips on how to cope with Christmas.
Many of us were looking forward to a brief respite from COVID-19 during the Christmas period after a year that has seen unprecedented and very challenging times. All of us have been anxious about our health, our loved ones, our neighbours, and our friends. In addition, we have had the worry of finances, whether self-employed or employed, and the impact this may have on our businesses, family finances and life. Over the last year we have home schooled, survived lock down twice, been put into tiers and been confused by what we can and cannot do, it has been relentless and tough. The heralded Pfizer, Moderna and Oxford AstraZeneca vaccine roll out and a family Christmas were like beacons shining brightly in the darkness of 2020. We had survived and our hope was that, in the words of the Queen, “we will be with our friends again, we will be with our families again; we will meet again”.
Last weekend that hope was shattered. Having had Christmas scaled down to a small Christmas, we were told London and the South East would enter tier 4, virtually lockdown, and that there would be no Christmas. We also learnt that the virus has mutated, and the mutation may be more infectious. As if that were not enough, many countries have banned the UK from their borders and the ports have closed leaving 1500 lorries backed up at Dover, with food shortages predicted if an end to this situation is not achieved. 2021 is already starting to look grim!
At times like this it is hard to garner the strength to fight on but fight on we must as the light really is the end of the tunnel with the vaccination roll out. We must find time to look after ourselves and our families and be creative in how we do this. We must put into practice those great ideals we have, but maybe never do, or we will burn out. Here are a few tips to try and get us all through these challenging times:
- Understand Christmas will be different accept this and look for the possibilities it offers. Why not make it completely different so you do not spend the day mourning what might have been. See it as an opportunity to try different foods and routines. If you have an outside space, why not BBQ or picnic? Yes, I know it is cold but mull the wine, wrap in blankets and become Northern European!
- Instead of buying presents for those you live with why not allow them to dictate a treat e.g., breakfast in bed, a manicure etc.
- Try to carve out a moment of calm in your day (I know this is hard!) to get away from the noise of life and be on your own. Take a walk ideally somewhere with green space, try and notice what is around you and value it.
- Try to pace yourself, you do not need to say yes to everything and then feel overstretched.
- Make time for social relationship, we may not be able to get together in person but there are great online platforms, and you can still enjoy a laugh and drink on these with friends and family especially important at Christmas.
- Try an exercise class on-line. It is easy to let fitness go when in isolation and it is important for immunity that we all keep fit. These are great to do with kids also.
- Play games or quizzes online with friends or try learning a new skill together, it passes the time lightly.
- Do not forget elderly relatives who may not use online skills. Take time to speak.
- Do film/boxed set nights with the family with treats. We maybe cannot go to the cinema, but we can make one in our own home.
- If you are working from home over the festive season, try to occupy separate rooms. If this is not possible, you may need to timetable work so that you can take turns to use the kitchen table or desk, with one of you working while the other deals with childcare.
- If you do become irritated with your partner or children, try to think before you speak. Pick your fights carefully and “don’t sweat the small stuff”. If you lose it, and we all do, then simply say “sorry”! At these times of stress, it is to be expected and even worth preparing your family for the fact that you may “lose it” in a stressful moment.
- Try to have a daily family review about what is working well and what is not and try to take joint responsibility for changes. Think of at least one thing that is working well or that you have enjoyed about being together each day – and tell each other!
- Try to turn off the news feed, just look once a day.
- Turn off your phone and concentrate on those who are with you
- Watch programmes with happy uplifting content.
- Listen to music to lift your soul and dance around the kitchen or even with friends on zoom.
- If you need psychological help currently, access it on-line. Most therapists will be working in this format so this is an ideal time to work on any issues you may have.
- Similarly, if your relationship needs support and help then this is a great time to act as you have more time and do not need to leave home to get help.
- If you are in a coercive or violent relationship, please reach out for help. You can leave your home in this situation.
https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-body/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/
In these extreme times, we face challenges we have never faced, and we have all had to dig deep into our reserves to keep going. Probably, we know this will become more severe in the New Year as more lockdown is on the cards. Going forward we will have to process the aftermath of COVID-19 and how it affected us all, but by keeping safe, following the guidance, and looking after our physical and mental health, we can all have a future which will enable us to have large social gatherings later in 2021 that are not on zoom, but with real people
Jo Coker